Not Afraid Of Almost Everything

There's not much I'm afraid of. I love roller coasters, embrace darkness, and am willing climb up to great heights. My sister is constantly pulling my hand away from candles. Talking in front of crowds is easy for me. I try to catch lizards, just to see if I can. Water is my friend and I love thunderstorms. Spiders are cool, no matter what any body says! Along with crocodiles, snakes, millipedes, and all other things with fangs, scales, and numerous legs. Mice are cute! Frogs and toads are not going to give me warts, so I'll catch them if I want. I can be alone and totally keep myself entertained. I'm not going to die until God says I am. Being my goofy random self is more fun than conforming to what every one expects. I haven't heard of a fear that I totally agree with and say, "Wow, dude! That totally freaks me out!!"

There are few things I am afraid of. There are a few people out there I can see reading that last sentence and going into shock. Those people have asked me time and time again "What are you afraid of?" They'll list off common and uncommon fears alike. I'll tell them time and time again that I'm not afraid. Because everything they suggest is all stuff that really has no true impact on my life. Ok, maybe a plane crash would have an impact on my life. But unless God decides I'm gonna be in a plane crash, I really don't have anything to worry about. And its up to Him to decide whether or not I die in that plane crash. As there is nothing I can do about it, it's not worth my time and energy to be afraid.

But the things I can do something about, that is the category my biggest fears fall under.
Failing is one. It sounds cliche, but it's true. I'm afraid someday, I may not be good enough. Regret is another. The idea of looking back on my life when I'm older and seeing a million things I never did, never said, never experienced is truely terrifying to me. Both of those tie in to my greatest fear. I don't know exactly what to call it.

My biggest fear is failing to make an impact, in any way. Not being an impact on my friends. Not accomplishing every thing that I want to do. No, everything that I NEED to do. I've been told I can do just about everything. Been told so many times, that it's become a part of me. Every other moment, I remind myself of exactly what I have to do before my time runs out. That is very simple.

I have to rock so hard, that I'll be heard in space. Have to shine so bright, the world has to wear sun glasses. Make a name for myself, so I'll never be forgotten. Do something incredible so kids years from now will hear about me. In short, I wanna make history.

Pretty modest goals, huh? I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but that what I intend to do. And being afraid of things that aren't going to affect that goal aren't worth it. Besides, life is less fun living according to restrictions we put on ourselves that are really, truely, insanely, extremely stupid.

The fact that I'm going to make history makes my job choice crucial. What I do as an occupation could either make my dream or break it. That may explain why I have no idea of what I want to do when I grow up. I can imagine what would happen if a counseler saw my long term & short term goals.

Long Term:
1. Make history in any way possible.

Short Term:
1. Sky dive
2. Bungee jump
3. Ride The Hulk roller coaster
4. Make six perfect bulls eyes in every round
5. Climb many mountains
6. Have my own tv show
7. Become a rockstar
8. Help all my buddies accomplish their long & short term goals
9. Find the Loch Ness Monster. I don't want to catch it, just prove that it exists.
10. Become a pirate
11. Dude, if I wrote down all my short term goals, you wouldn't have any paper left in the school, so I'm gonna leave it at that.

Hehehe, I'd probably say something like that too.